Some work so far

I got this doll from a charity shop: I wanted to play with her and buy several and change their body parts etc. I feel I cant hurt her. She seems to precious and dainty. Perhaps though - I need to make that leap. Go for it. Not be afraid to destroy something to make in newer. After all i did destroy the bible.But then again - that came back to haunt me with the leak. Is it fear the reason why i dont want to destroy the doll? But im not destroyinh it, i will be taking it apart and putting it together again. I think it is more to do with me being older and having more values for this doll. Or again is it that fear that the doll is alive and will come get my as i ruined its appearance? I felt bad just undressing it. But once i did that, it felt less prestine. I felt like i could play with it. It is afterall an object. But now can be collectible. Can have values to it.

For the time being, I decided to create this 'doll' if you like out of sticks. It does look rather spooky and fragile. How did i get to doing this? Well, i was a little stuck and decided to take a walk down the river. I had this idea of dolls being not made of soft materials, and child-friendly as i was looking at the materials dolls were made of, anad some were flammable. So what if they were made of knives? or scissors? Things that are not flame proof? Poison? So i think i will look more in depth of the materials used to create dolls and perhaps make a few of my own. Then, i thought about how can i try and focus somewhere other than the figure? I dont want to focus too much on the figure. Then I thought about the inside of the figure. If i used a burning material, I got cover it in clay and then fire it. This would leave the shape of the materials but the materials will burn away. This leaves the trace of what was there. So using twigs to create the body, they were once the body, then when in clay, they are the skeleton - the support, and then they are burnt, and the wall of clay stands around it., with the trace of the skeleton still there. I want to leave the ash in the structure, leave some trace.I decided to put the new doll in the old doll's clothes. Just to see what it was like. It reminds me of little Ottik (on blog before).It seems very eerie, especially as the head isnt on properly and keeps rolling of. I guess the next step is to cover it in clay?
Trace - i like this idea, Leaving my own trace. Leaving a trace of me so that they have to find me? That i have been somewhere. How objects leave traces on other objects. Questions. I may play with tracing paper. Or looking over on previous refelctions - traces of destroyed things. Traces of murder mysteries that wernt solved, like Jack the Ripper.

Also, the distortion of my own childhood. How i get older and my childhood is getting lost, the trace becomes thinner and thinner. Childhood destroyed. Getting lost. I have been looking in the loft for old letters i have recieved from friends. These are a trace from my letters i had sent as they are the reply to those letters. I only know half of what i say on those letters. I think i may also look at this.